A new mom … Candid and random!

IMG_12800Babies are miracles – truly God’s best gift to the families. And once the baby is at home, all the attention goes to them. But what about the mothers? Though it’s the most taxing time for her, but nobody is really bothered to ask her as to how she is doing, whether she would like to go out someday, how can anybody be of any help to them etc. etc. It’s funny but true. For the one who has taken all the pain – literally :P(physically, mentally, and emotionally) to bring a new life into this world, nobody really makes the effort to call her for ‘her’ and not the baby (if you know what I mean) 😉 In India specially, it’s taken for granted that a woman who is the mother has to do all and nobody will thank her. All of a sudden, she has to be responsible now that she is a mother. But wait a minute.. She is probably still only in her 20’s or maybe 30’s, right? And she is the one who has a personality of her own and a mind of her own. She loves to go out, meet people, she knows how to enjoy her life, she has been an independent career woman maybe and she smiles all the time. Then, why all of a sudden, it’s expected out of her to not go out as much, and not spend a life that she has been spending till now? To which she has already made that change – she doesn’t go out as often as she would like to, she doesn’t take out time for her social circle anymore. But do people really think about her sacrifices or her situation?  Most people don’t. When would people start asking about the mother too along with the baby? And when would the family members start appreciating a mother whose life has taken a complete u-turn because of the new baby. I’m not saying that babies shouldn’t get attention- of course, they are the ones who need our utmost attention and care, but it won’t hurt to ask the sleepless and exhausted mother once in a while as to how is she coping up, right? Or to appreciate and thank her for all the pains that she has taken to bring this new life into this world and now taking care of a baby 24*7? Or to invite her out for a coffee/chat someday, or to visit her and even to tell her that she is being missed when she is not able to attend all the parties that her friends invite her to 🙂 It just makes her feel nice amidst all the chaos and the sudden change that she is dealing with in her life. No doubt once the babies grow up (and I’ve heard they grow up really fast), she would have more time to spend living her life but still 70-80% is devoted to the kids. She would still keep taking care of her home, her work, manage the kids and never ask for appreciation from anyone. And isn’t all this a LOT that she has already done/ doing on a daily basis? Still, people won’t appreciate it or do things things for her that might make her feel nice. She is the one who, in spite of being totally stressed out and overwhelmed, will still smile for her baby to make him/her smile and entertain him/her. Isn’t that something wonderful – that’s what only a mother can have – SELFLESS LOVE. Oh and i just realized that mother’s day is not far.it’s coming soon! So, maybe i wrote this at the right time – a tribute to all the new moms- just like me 🙂 😉

Please leave your comments/feedback on what do you think of this random candid post of mine ! 😉 🙂 No complaints- just true honest feelings! Much Love .

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In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on!

I am sure there’s no one on this earth who has never experienced sadness, hurt, loneliness or pain. And sometimes, with such intensity that you think this is the end……

Losing a loved one, a break-up, emotional mood swings loneliness etc. There have been times when I felt so down and out that it took me a long time to come out of my shock/hurt of a particular incident. Now sometimes, it doesn’t take much time to get over it and return back to your normal self, and sometimes, it could take you long!

Doesn’t matter what your getting over time is, but one thing for sure- you will get over it. The main thing to realize over here is (when you’re going through such situation/phase) is what you tell yourself.

Change is the Only Constant

Yes, it is. Change – people change, situations change, life change, and everything changes. And change is good. As long as that change makes you a better human being, makes you grow and makes you live your life better, it is good.

You ‘OWN’ your Life

Yes, the second most important thing to know is that your life is in your own hands. I have probably repeated this many times in my blogs/writings/tweets or even everyday conversations so much that it’;s like my life mantra. And well, it’s a fact! Only you are responsible for your life.  You either make it or break it – Only YOU. Remember, no matter what the situation is or how bad it hurts – you have the power to be strong and move on. And there’s that unbelievable strength present in all of us, we just need to realize it. God has made you extremely strong – trust me on that one! 🙂

Stay Positive

Sounds Clichéd eh? I know it’s very hard to stay positive when you are feeling really low. It’s especially true in the cases of a severe heartbreak or when you lose a loved one. You start thinking about all the things that ‘were’ good and are now ‘bad’, right? Don’t. For a moment, stop right there and listen to me. It’s very easy to let all those negative thoughts crawl over your mind and have power over you to make you more sad, depressed and unhappy. Don’t let it happen. Tell yourself all the good things that you shared with the person and accept the fact that their role in your life is now over. They have played their part in your life story and it’s time for you to move on. Now, of course the memories will always remain and let those memories make you smile. (This, in case you lose a loved one). Some memories can bring pain as well, and if they do, realize it’s not worth your thinking. (This, in case someone you knew didn’t deserve you, broke your heart and left you).

(I will, in my upcoming blogs, might talk in detail about the two cases, but for now – this is enough) 🙂

Give Love, Receive Love

Love – I could really just go on and on about this one subject and never stop. But let me not do that for now.

“A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless”.

It’s very easy to fall in a trap of a world where we don’t see much love or loving words today. Don’t. Love is a very strong force and in my opinion the only thing that actually makes this world go around. Had there been no love whatsoever, the world wouldn’t have existed or moved forward. Show your love and be open to receive love. Love is a healer, a protector and will always make you feel good. Be with people who love you and whom you love, who make you feel good about yourself and appreciate you for what you are. In turn, appreciate others as well, see the good in them. Love yourself and others. Spread the love and feel the bliss take over 🙂

Stay in the ‘Present’ moment

I see a lot of people dwelling upon their past, especially older people. If you ever sit with your granny, you’ll notice how they only keep talking about the stories from their past, almost always! I noticed it. She is always talking about how their life was better when they were kids, or when they got married etc. Well, that’s probably because they are in that age where now they only relish those memories and don’t do much today to be really engrossed in today. And I am not very sure if you can actually convince older people to also enjoy their present but I’d suggest you take a chance at least. There’s no harm in trying. Like I, sometimes, do ask questions to my granny about what she likes today or how she thinks the life of today is? I insist to take her out sometimes to have a cup of coffee and my success ratio is probably 1/100. At least this makes her live and enjoy in the present for sometime, right?:) I try and keep her updated about the latest news (the advancement in technologies, spirituality, etc.) to make her a little more aware each day. I try my bit like this, I wouldn’t lie 🙂

Now coming back to staying in the ‘present’, and I don’t know if some older people are reading this (if they are, I am so glad if I’m able to reach you). Remember, you are still alive!  Make the most of it. And for the young people, you aren’t a grandparent or even a parent yet, in some cases. You don’t want to probably stick to your past from now and ruin what the present has to offer you, right now. Open your eyes to the present and start ‘living’ instead of just ‘existing’.  There are always opportunities waiting for you, but only if you are conscious enough to notice them. Opportunities for being happy, for being content and the opportunity for moving on – don;t unnecessarily delay. And make your ‘present’ memorable and happy enough to share your stories when you become a grandparent.. .Err.. Better still, just click pictures and show them when the time comes rather than narrating the same stories again and again 😉 🙂

Hope you enjoyed reading this .Leave your comments and suggestions and do share your experiences and contributions. Would love to hear your point of view!God Bless! Keep smiling 🙂

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Realize Your Power!!!!

Have you ever realized the power of each and every moment in your life? Choice – It’s that you have a Choice you make every single moment…

There’s a decision involved in whatever you do – whether it’s regarding the decisions about life-partners, career, goals, dreams, kindness, forgiveness anything – that power of decision lies with you! Sometimes, even the conscious choice of feeling weak and unworthy is your own choice which leads you to feel low on your confidence level! So would I be wrong when I say your life is in YOUR OWN hands? I don’t think so. If you get to decide what you want to do with your life, you might as well do what you are meant to do or want to do, and what makes you happy.

I have seen people blaming others for their situations or conditions in life. But it doesn’t ever convince me. It never would. Even if there was someone else who probably affected your life in one way or the other, it doesn’t give you an excuse to screw up your present life or everyday life in whatsoever way or go around hurting others for that matter! You have the power to move on and get on with your life and make it happy, beautiful and filled with all the pleasures you seek 🙂

Keep the faith and keep smiling! Hold on to your dreams as they are the seeds of your inspiration and purpose in life 🙂

This post was short and simple, hope you enjoyed reading it? Do send me your feedback and suggestions!

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Be Beautiful! . .

“Beauty. We all are it. Its just that my beauty, your beauty, his beauty, her beauty, they’re all different.” Author Unknown.

Beauty is not in the face, but rather a light in the heart that shines through and until you yourself don’t believe that to be true, others will not be able to notice something in you that you don’t even know it exists, something you don’t even know you have. .  

Something you don’t even know you are. Beauty for me comes from within, and those people who possess that are capable of radiating their inner beauty outward. These people vibrate at a different frequency and if you pay closer attention to what happens around you, you will notice it also. If you make the inside beautiful, the outside will be beautiful, but if you harbor pain, hate, anger inside you, don’t expect the outside not to be affected by that. I do believe in inner beauty.

I have personally seen people who went from beauty to ugliness because they became so hateful, so bitter, jealous and resentful toward those around them. I call it the loss of innocence. These people change their pure and innocent mind and heart,with a polluted mind and a cold heart.

For example, there is this person whom I met a few years ago. She had a sweet face, nice hair, and a beautiful smile, and now, today, I can tell you that she looks like a totally different person. We don’t interact that much now, I would say once a week, and every time I see her, I am amazed of how much she has changed. She is constantly looking for ways to blame others, she is always so loud and mean with those around her, and she loves to criticize. A lot! I always say that the way you look on the outside says a lot about your insides, and in her case I would have to say that, because of her constant need to put others down, because of her need to compare herself with others, because of her lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, her outer beauty is fading.

You should see the look on her face whenever people start paying her attention. She needs that, she needs other people’s approval and attention in order to feel good about herself, in order for her to feel validated. That is the problem with those who don’t really know who they are, who don’t know their real value and who need others to tell them just that. They don’t know that they are great, that they are beautiful, worthy, smart, intelligent and with great potential.

They don’t know that, and that’s exactly why they need other people to tell them wonderful things to feel good about themselves, that’s exactly why they need only expensive clothes, expensive cars, expensive everything to raise they value. Don’t get me wrong, I have expensive things also, but not because they make me feel more of a person but because I appreciate beauty. I don’t buy things based on their price but rather on their beauty, and I don’t go around telling everybody how much I have paid for this or that. Yes, there are people who give you this information without you even asking. That’s what I call a cry for help.

Try to watch those around you, observe them, observe their random acts of kindness and the way they talk with and about others, observe those people who are gossiping all the time, blaming and condemning, judging everybody around them and tell me if you don’t see the difference.

Another thing you can do is to try noticing those people who, even though they aren’t really that “beautiful”, they have something that makes you like them. They have something that makes you want to be around them and spend as much time with them as possible. I call this inner beauty, and I see these people as having a pure and clean heart, while on the other hand, there are those people who, even though they have really beautiful features, beautiful skin, hair, eyes, etc. , because of the hate that they have toward others, because of their jealousy, their envy and because of their constant need to compare themselves with others, their beauty is fading, their beauty is being transformed into something not really pleasant to the eye. Who wants to be around people like that? Who wants to be around people who lack self-esteem, who complain a lot, who judge and criticize all the time?

These people suck the energy out of you and they aren’t a great company for anyone. People want to be around beautiful, loving, caring, joyful and positive people, not around hateful and resentful people, and you will see how, the moment you change the inside, the moment you make it beautiful, the outside will also become beautiful.

Of course not to forget that if you possess both external and internal beauty, feel blessed!  🙂

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Osama Killed – Two Worlds Exist! Ways to Combat Negativity.

The news of Osama being killed has arrived and well, it’s a sigh of relief for the world – and here, I am talking about a world full of people who love justice, are against war and violence, are positive and appreciate good things in life. And yes, I also found out about another world that exist simultaneously – the world full of people who are pessimists,

who love to find faults with everything, are negative and will proudly doubt and raise fingers on anyone that’s doing good. Unfortunately, such people will also find the so-called ‘motives’ or ‘reasons’ behind every good deed someone has done.

Well, sad but true. After all, God has created everyone and each individual is different. I have, for so many years, tried to always be compassionate to those who have this negative outlook, to those who are always on the hunt for finding the ‘real motives’ behind a good deed. But it does hurt me to sometimes encounter such people and such negativity around all the time. If you are one of those too then there are ways to combat it and if you are the one with the negative thinking most of the time, then there are ways to change that too which I might take up in my upcoming posts. Though I would like to maintain that you should definitely be cautious of the world around you, but not be fearful and don’t live in a pessimistic world.

Ways to shed negativity :

  1. Awareness:  Be aware of this fact that this world is full of all kinds of people. Stay positive and don’t let such things bother you.
  2. Patience. Try and be patient about such people and understand that that’s how they are and have been for years. It’s said that you cannot change anyone, but you can definitely change your own reactions towards someone/ something. 
  3. Stay Put:  You know that you are a positive soul and that’s what you will always be. So just stay focused on that. Agreed that there will be times when you get disheartened and hurt, at that point of time, realize your own potential. Be strong and kind enough to know the positive from negative and move on with your life. Don’t let any negative person or situation change your positive outlook. 
  4. Surround yourself with Positivity: In terms of people. Make sure you surround yourself with people who are positive and like you. There will be all kinds of people who you will meet every day but try to distance yourself from the ones who don’t give you good vibes or make you feel dejected. 
  5. Go by your Gut: There’s something called sixth sense. Realize its potential in your life. It’s also known as inner voice. Do pay heed to it when your inner voice talks to you. When there’s a deep gut feeling that tells you something is wrong/right. It, in most cases, will guide you right. And I say this from my experience too.

 

I tried covering the basics here. There are definitely more ways to combat negativity according to the situations you face every day. Please feel free to share your experiences that you might have and also your ideas on the same. Hope you enjoyed reading! Wish you all a happy positive life 🙂

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5 Things to Always Remember.. Come What may

Ever wondered about those not-so-pleasant incidents in our life? Sometimes, they are ignorable, don’t affect us at all; sometimes, they are trivial and we get over them quickly. But what about the ones which leave us debilitated, lost and devastated. Has this ever happened to you where it took just one incident to tear your world apart and it felt like this is the end of the world for you? Relax..because you will be able to get through it. Trust me..

It has happened to me. Twice. Good thing about the first one? I wasn’t mature enough to probably even understand what I had lost though I felt miserable and cried my heart out, kept crying all the time. I could do that since I was just twelve years old. I lost My Dad. I miss him, miss him a lot. The greatest part is even till today when there’s any discussion about him, everyone has great things to say about him. And well, as I was growing up I saw him and I have learned most from my Dad. He was a very vibrant, positive, and a cheerful soul. He was always willing to help people. Always willing to guide, always willing to understand and lend an ear to anyone at all. Apart from being a homeopathic doctor and working in a bank, he had an amazing knack for writing. I got to know about that later when I saw his piece of writings. And also, he was into theatre, used to perform on stages. I think that’s’ where I get my poetic and dramatics skills too 😉

Even though I lost him at an early age, I always have felt His presence in my life till date. Even for a single moment, I never felt that He’s not watching me or not with me. Even though he wasn’t physically present with me but he was there always. I used to always get motivated by it and wanted to be like him – a good human being, in life. He taught me to be good natured, no matter what. He taught me about those basic little things in life which are so important for one’s well being. I want to share, out of all those innumerable ones, the 5 basic things which he taught me,which I realize now that have stuck with me. Here they are, even though you all might have heard some of them a thousand times.

1. Remember, we all have the same needs: No matter what, we are all humans. We all seek for Love, kindness, peace, harmony and happiness within. Some people show it, most of them don’t. But it’s the ultimate truth that we all need love and kindness. Spread out that Love and kindness around. Remember the other one needs it as much as we do. Try it. Give it away to get it back. Even if you don’t get it back, it will make you feel good to see a smile on someone’s face and knowing that you are the reason for it. That’s what motivates me the most.

2. Bad experiences are necessary: Every bad experience has a positive outcome at the end of it. We might realize it sooner or later. Every bad experience is God’s way of making us stronger and letting us know that Life Moves On. It’s not the problems that should worry us, but our reactions to those problems. Do what’s in your hands; show the world that you’re strong. If you fall, get up again more firmly and start walking. That’s where your true strength of character comes out. And trust me all becomes well at the end.

3. Believe in the ‘Good’: Howsoever hard and tough this life seems at times, trust me, it’s beautiful. There’s a lot of goodness in this world. Don’t ever let any person/ incident make you lose trust in the good. “Good” ~ which I define as good things, good people, good life, good God. Give your best shot at all the times to everyone and every task. That’s all that’s expected of you.

4. Respect your self: Remember in all this, it’s very important to respect your own self and maintain dignity. Respect is earned, and how do you earn it? By being good, by doing good. By not harming anyone intentionally. By spreading love, knowledge and good deeds around. By hard work. By dedication. By holding your head high up at the end of the day when you look yourself in the mirror, that’s’ important. Stick to your values and morals, and at the same time, be flexible to changes which are meant for your good and the others around. And have the wisdom to understand about them.

5. Don’t forget to do the things that make you happy: Little things like dancing, listening to music, working out, reading, playing, trekking, meeting friends, partying, sitting alone. Whatever is it that make you happy, do it!! No second thoughts about that.

These are the 5 things for my first blog. Thank you for reading them through. Hope they made you smile and feel better? Please share your thoughts and experiences too, would love to hear them out 🙂

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